From the day she was born, Aaliyah has been my pride and joy. It’s rare that she is ever out of my sight. George spent a week getting her nursery together and it is perfect. But having her sleep in there just wasn’t an option for me. In the beginning, it was because I didn’t want to let her out of my sight. I was too afraid that something might happen to her and I wouldn’t know it. Yes, I was the typical hysterical first time mother. After awhile I just got attached to her. I liked having her sleep in the play yard right next to me. And so seven months rolled by and she was still sleeping in our room.
George and I had never formally discussed moving her into her
crib in the nursery. It didn’t really seem like an issue. Recently, at about 7 months old, she hit a roadblock with her sleeping once again. She was in the middle of learning how to crawl and it seemed to be on her mind at night. She began rolling onto her stomach in the middle of the night and then waking up on all fours. I think it must have freaked her out, because she would start crying hysterically. Then it would take me forever to calm her down. This was happening every 30-40 minutes every single night. As you can probably imagine, this presented somewhat of a problem for us. Especially since George had to get up early every morning, and I was working late three nights a week. We were beginning to get a little sleep deprived.
At first, we thought it might pass after a few days. We were sorely mistaken. So then we tried to put her to sleep without swaddling her. She didn’t really care for that. About the only thing that worked, was putting her to sleep on her stomach. Which of course is discouraged by our pediatrician and just about every book out there. So we continued trying different things, but absolutely nothing we tried worked. So, feeling a little defeated, we made the decision to let her sleep on her stomach. But we didn’t feel 100% comfortable with our decision. Even though she was sleeping only a few feet away from me, I worried she might stop breathing in her sleep. George had purchased an Angel Care monitoring system for this very same reason when Aaliyah was first born. But due to the way her play yard was built, we were unable to use it successfully. It only worked in her crib, because it has a flat mattress.
So two weeks ago, we were forced by our circumstances to move Aaliyah to her crib at bedtime. A tough move indeed. I’m not sure that it presented as much of a problem for George as it did for me. He is far more stoic than I am. Bottom line, I barely slept the first few nights. I was worried that I would miss something. But by the third or forth night, my exhaustion took hold, and I slept like a baby. So well, I’m afraid I didn’t hear her crying over the monitor right away when she did wake up. A reality that made me feel a little guilty.
I am sorry to say that I still struggle with our decision. She is almost eight months old and I know she couldn’t sleep in our room forever. But I did like having her close to me. I really do. She is a part of me, and I am having a hard time letting go. Apparently being a clingy mother is also a part of my Mommy Identity. But I am okay with that.
Mommy Milestone – Aaliyah starts sleeping in her nursery at 7 1/2 months